The Empress

I woke up this morning, the eve of our beta blood test, when I scrolled through my Instagram stories to catch up on the happenings of friends, family, and celebs that I follow. It was there that I stumbled across a post from my cousin’s wife, Sheena – an extraordinary woman with a beautiful free spirit who posted a photo of her tarot cards with a question box that said, “would you like me to pull one for you?” This piqued my interest because I had an old roommate who used to whip out her tarot cards every month to see what they had in store for us.

I typed back a response and much to my surprise I received a private message from her the second I got to the office. While my desktop was booting up I opened the message and saw my card as the first image in my inbox. She had pulled The Empress card facing upright. Following this image were screen shots of a website that had information about the card.

The first paragraph spoke about my feminine energy and suggests that I pamper myself for a deeper connection and stated that I should find a new way to express myself through art. The second is a reminder to appreciate my life’s pleasures and lifestyle as I have everything I need already surrounding me. The third paragraph suggests that I take a break in nature and connect with Mother Earth’s spirit, which segued into the fourth paragraph that states that I will take on the mothering nature of the Empress and suggests that I may step into a mother role. The fifth and final paragraph opened with the line – “The Empress can also suggest pregnancy or birth.” While yes this concept of birth could be more metaphorical than physical it brought a sense of hope and happiness to the forefront.

Andrea and I have been trying to conceive for a little over a year now. The Rainbow Caravan posts that I had was just the first cycle in our journey. Unfortunately that didn’t take. At the end of last year we were blessed with the generosity of a friend who wanted to be our donor, which saved us thousands upon thousands of dollars. After about six months of unsuccessful cycles we decided to reach out to a fertility specialist which included blood work, an MRI, an HSG test, and a number of different medications before we started an IUI cycle.

Today is the day before our beta blood test from our third and final IUI procedure.

I share this story to put it all out there in the universe because it’s all completely out of our hands. Andrea and I are so ready to become parents and raise our child. I yearn for the morning sickness, my growing belly and painful breasts, and the sleepless nights. I want to feel all the aches, pains, and discomfort knowing that I’m growing a beautiful child in my womb. We cannot wait to start our family.

Here’s to our journey.


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